the wind draws fast,
our desires onto us. we say hello to yesterday, goodbye tomorrow. sleep on my pillow, to wake in our bed your skin on my back, with pleasure to follow. the wind draws fast, our memories from us. hello, my morning. The longing for a memory
of a voice, the sound of your name echoing in enunciated emotions when all is lost, will never be answered with a text messaged hello or I love you. Voice speaks louder than what we hear. Her lungs are scarred by a life in transit. Constant breaths, with out holding in. By evening she rushes to conquer life with thought, movement...living,
before time conquers her with, "I can't." The notes play, as a winter wind to an autumn leaf my ears breathe in brightly painted oceans, sometimes not so bright. Orange and Blue in hues of C & E briefly move me, until the note vanishes and I anticipate the next, and the next, and the last. This is precisely how I discovered gold. And even before listening to colors, I learned that at the softest enunciated whisper, or at minds glance of an enunciated movement, euphoria sets in; a temporary nirvana tip toes through the spine. Angels disguised as feathers disappear into the edges of my skin, awakening follicles. Orgasmic embraces - I've convinced myself - is all they are. When the hand slowly readies itself to play the orange key, I realize that the two can sometimes overlap. Tone, mood, movement, hearing; shades of outside become inside, through hearing. The mind creates a body of heaven from a temporary hell. And all of this is not all that I have been since childhood but it’s half of me, it’s usual, while the other half of me concludes that finally everything now makes sense.
/What?/ So I have these two things about me that are kinda weird but kinda not, since I’ve experienced them since I can remember. One I’ve known for some time, it’s called sound to color synesthesia, which means I basically hear colors. The other has baffled me since childhood and I’ve lived in secret with until a couple of weeks ago. I just found out that it has a name, it’s called Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response. I use to figure it was just a sensitive nerve thing, that crazy almost constant tingling sensation at the back of the neck and spine, triggered by sounds and particular movements. Some of you may have it, and I’m realizing that it’s not so rare for some to have both of these (if you already experiencing one, that is). It can be annoying or fun, but is just mostly interesting. I’ll be writing something about this in the near future. If you’d like to share stories of your experiences with either of these, or if you have an idea for collaborations, write me a note – I’d love to hear from you! |
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January 2019
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